OK so it has been a busy summer and I have not blogged for a long time. I'll try to remedy that.
You may know that I am a songwriter and spent my early years in Nashville. I had a song called "Saving Grace" that was recorded by Ray Boltz and actually topped the charts in the Fall of 1993. In our youth ministry we frequently use another of Ray's songs, "Jesus Out Loud" as a wake up call for sleeping students. This week I learned that Ray has come out of the closet and acknowledged his struggle with homosexuality. He also announced a brief return from retirement for some limited concert dates at some lesbian/gay churches that he says have helped him with his struggle. While I have not talked to Ray for years and have only had brief conversations at best, I would be assured that we differ on our views on this topic and probably many others. Initial responses, made in jest, had me renouncing my claim to fame and looking for a new "wake up" song. But it has made think about some things.
Should I write off all the great songs and ministry Ray has had in his career as not sincere or glorifying to God? Is his sin worse than my gossip or gluttony? Want the truth!? I wrote songs during that period of my life to honor God, but I am pretty sure some of my behavior at the time disappointed Him. (As it does today.) Sin separates us from God, but it does not diminish our value or worth in God's eyes. My God has never once written me off! For only one Jesus would have suffered and given up his life. Can you argue with that. That is from one of Ray's songs. I'm not condoning or condemning. That is not for me to do. And how about this, what about the thought that some are born gay? If we are born into sin, is that a possibility, or is it the fact that because we arrive into a fallen world, circumstance and environment bring us to places of struggle? I mean, we all have our struggles because our flesh wants nothing to do with the discipline and correction that holiness requires. So we all have a genetic bent to sin. It is our human condition not an excuse. The cross is to be freeing for us. We are to be new creations with the power of Christ in us to defeat sin. We are not supposed to determine what is sin and what is not, that is reserved for a Holy God and no one else.
Situations like this leave me more questions than answers. They also leave me thankful for a loving God whose wisdom is far beyond mine. They leave me feeling sorry for the deception that is in our world. I wonder what the future holds, because the last 50 years have brought us to a broken place where our moral fiber has disappeared like an 8 track tape. Not everything is gray matter and I am convinced that truth is not relative. It is absolute and the Bible is Truth. I believe God disapproves of many things (including this issue), but the love poured out at the Cross can cover it all. And if we are children of that grace then we are to hate the sin but live the sinner. This isn't some tolerance crap, or let's hold hands and get along. It is simply an acknowledgement that I sin, need a Saviour and my Saviour, Jesus only asks me to be responsible and accountable for my behavior, He'll deal with everyone else.
Remembering Mark Beeson
4 years ago
1 comment:
From a homosexual view of an Tennessian 18 year old guy...
I believe that we are born gay. Why would a person choose to live a life in which they are repeatedly made fun of day after day? If they could help it then why would they want to live a life where there is fear of being alone, dieing of AIDS, being killed, and other such things just cause of their love for people of the same sex?
I frequentally went to church but once I came to terms with my sexuality I stopped just because I felt punished and denyed my right to eternal life just because of my feelings to guys. I truely believe that God would not have created hundreds of people with the knowledge that he was sending them to hell. He gave his only begotton son so that WHOEVER believes in him shall not parish....remember that line? If God can forgive a killer, which is far more worse then being a homosexual, then can't he forgive the gays?
The thing with Gay Marrage is that we just want the rights given to a heterosexual couples. I personally, couldn't care to get married. However, when the time comes I just want whoever I am with and myself to be treated as a couple with the same benifits that heterosexuals have.
I could go on and on about this, however I don't have alot of time. I just wanted to fill you in on the life I lead from day to day:
I am out to everyone except my parents. They think homosexuality is the worst thing ever and honestally after I tried telling them 2 times already they still try to set me up girls. It is sad.
I have been called "queer", "fag", "queen",
"fruit", and I also think someone called me "Elton" but I think they confused me with someone else whose candle burned out long ago. I try not to fight or say stuff back...but I have to hold in my emotions in order to survive their constant tauntings.
I had a person follow me to a car, knowing I was gay, and he exposed himself asking if I liked what I saw. Reguardless to say, I didn't like what I saw and drove away to Farragut High School's parking lot and broke down.
I am the only person my age I know who is gay. I have no one to talk to and relate to. No one I try talking to understands my pain.
If I could choose another life I would. I can't handle not having the love and support of my family. The only thing that keeps me going is hope for the better and God. I admit my faith has faultered during my life several times...but I always try to think that God loves me and is there with me no matter what. It is a trial of my faith having people tell me im going to rot in hell just because of my attraction to guys. Still...I believe in what I believe and that is what gets me through the day. It is a hard path...but I know that God is there with me throughout the bumps and occasional detours.
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